time warp disaster

I was watching Mannequin the other day (surprisingly, for the first time ever from start to finish), and I thought how amazing they looked dancing in their 80s clothes. I compared it to how people nower days look dancing in 80s clothes, and came to the conclusion it’s the background that really makes the difference. So, everyone stuck in a time warp are fucked really. You can wear the cutest outfit that’s 100% vintage from the 1940s and go into Iceland and buy some Pringle and look completely shit.

Anyway, I’ve had a lot of time to do too much thinking about unimportant things. I’ve also had a lot of time to stalk loads of people’s blogs and decided I should really make more of an effort to update mine. So here are some things that have been happening to me recently, including my birthday.

train station






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deformed goth (chic)

I’ve just made £66 on ebay from selling shoes that have never fit me but I was too stubborn to admit it. I wanted small looking feet and figured if the chinese came up with the idea of  feet-binding, then I could deal with a little discomfort of tight fitting shoes. Obviously, I didn’t read about the deformities that occurred due to foot-binding. So anyway now I have, and hastily sold most of my size 4 shoes. Most.

In doing so, I have manifested funds for a new black slip dress, some shoes that aren’t shoes but are kind of trainers and plimsols, but also not (I have no idea what they are actually, surprise shoes), and also some mini polka dot hair straighteners. I feel distressed when I travel and can’t take my amazing spin-dry hairdryer with me, so these hair straighteners should give me enough of a curl to get me through the day. Phew.

As I’m as flat chested as a 13 year old boy (burger consumption permitting), the slips lacey bust has a futile existence. I covered it with a cropped tie-top from Topshop that I’ve struggled to wear thus far, as I haven’t had an exposed mid-drift since the days of raving with glow-in-the-dark belly button piercings. Remember those days? Of course you don’t. Also, I found that the layer helps give a bit of shape to the dress too.  Please note the surprise shoes and if you know what the correct name for them is… don’t tell me actually, I like the name surprise shoes.



Jacket, cropped top, slip, necklace, bag and shoes: Topshop

Hoody: H&M

I can’t believe how many things I’m wearing from Topshop. Pretty horrendous, but it’s rescued by the fact (according to fat people) I’m wearing such a vast combination of black that I’m virtually invisible.

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new musical express leopards

A few years ago I bought some grey leopard print leggings from Miss Selfridges. But I never really felt comfortable wearing them outdoors as they looked more like pajamas, so I wore them around the house and in bed. Then recently, while falling asleep singing an X song in my head, I had a revelation – I wanted some standard brown leopard print leggings, and I wanted them now. Thanks to ASOS’ new free delivery policy, I dragged myself out of bed and bought them immediately.

I have now received them (a teeth grindingly long 5 days later) and even if I think they only go well with baggy t-shirts, I still want to wear them every day. I love them so much. They’re like a lazy gesture at looking more interesting or staaahlesh. I dunno, I have no regards for what is fashionable, I read girlie magazines because I don’t have any other interesting hobbies. I went through my horses phase when I was 11, and grown women reading Cats World on a train usually smell like fish and beef jelly, so that’s not an option; however much I love the fluffballs. The music magazines are really disappointing these days, I remember when NME was in newspaper form and 90p. Funnily enough I’m quite bitter about spending £4 to read about music I don’t even like. And you can’t buy riot grrl zines in WH Smiths, unfortunately. So, Cosmo it is then (turns out I’m a selfish lover and I have cystitis).

I also ordered a Kill Rock Stars tote bag, that is huuuge and has tons of lovely pockets to lose my phone in and panic when I can’t find it.

When I went out wearing this outfit I felt really self conscious because it’s pretty much my pajama outfit, minus the grey leopard print leggings; and fluffy bootie slippers of course. It is, however, the comfiest clothes ever compiled in the history of dressing. If there was no fundamental laws of physics, I’d go back in time (in my phonebox) and rub it in Victorians faces. I’m not even wearing a bra, fuck you.


Cardigan: Topshop

T-shirt: American Apparel

Leggings: ASOS

Bag: KRS

Shoes: Office


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shoe greed

I have been stalking this Finnish girl for months now, I found her on lookbook and am now obsessed with her blog, she’s adorable. Only 17 though, so it makes me feel a bit like a weird old man rubbing my knees while scrolling down her blog with my penis. Anyway, she has inspired me to make this blog a bit more easy going, and more of a place to put up any old pictures, instead of this fashion Nazi style I’ve accidentally adopted.

I’ve recently acquired 3 pairs of the same shoes in different colours. The best part about this insanity is the first pair (pewter) were £35, the second pair (black) £20 and the third (bronze) £10!


That picture gives me vertigo but I took it pretty much in the dark with a good flash. The pewter are so soft they’re like wearing slippers, but I was really disappointed by the black pair as they are really thick and aren’t that comfy, I may even sell them. The bronze are quite comfy but not as much as the pewter.


I think there’s only a turquoise colour left in this range of shoe. I’m not European enough to pull blue shoes off, perhaps that Finnish girl has a pair. I’ll check her bins for a receipt.

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charity slops

A little while ago I was begrudgingly walking around Morden charity shops while holding my breath, when I found a pretty nice polyester jumper for £2. It’s not normally a colour I’d ever even consider wearing. But I guess that’s what’s so great about charity shopping, you don’t really have much of a choice and it’s so cheap you can afford to try new things out.

I would usually prefer to enter the spinning hellmouth that is Primark, than sift through rails of white leather skirts and multi-coloured stripe crop tops with suspiciously soiled armpits. This helps me sort of have no guilt about buying sweatshop made clothes, at least they’re only soiled with childrens tears.

I’m a bit of a charity shop/vintage snob, in the way what I think it’s vile wearing peoples second hand clothes. I get so freaked out about the snotty sleeves and the tissues in pockets and scrunchies in the bottoms of handbags. YUCK. But sometimes I can just about handle it, after a high temperature, vigorous wash.

Due to the vigorous washing, I’ve given this jumper enough electrical charge to keep the head-torches beaming on the sweatshop kids for long enough to finish my summer wardrobe. Instant reminders of how much of a terrible person I am for shopping in Primark are delivered to me in the form of static shocks and making my hair stick to my face. So actually, I am not a winner in this instance.


Jumper: British Heart Foundation

Jeans: New Look

Shoes: Office

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Over the past few years I’ve bought several playsuits. I see people wearing them and I think they look cute, I want to look cute too. So I buy one, and never seem to wear it, so I buy another that I think will be more comfortable, and it is, but again, gathers dust. This goes on until I face facts; weeing in a playsuit is not an option. And as a human being I generally need to do that, and being a diabetic human being, I generally need to do that a hell of a lot more than most people.

Anyway, it had been a year or so since I last bought a playsuit, so I thought it was about time I bought another after seeing someone looking cute in one. This time when I tried it on (I ordered it online) I realised that due to the fact it’s winter right now, if I decided to wear this out anywhere and needed to use a public toilet I would have a lot of things to do before I could actually get down to business. Firstly, I’d have to take my coat and jumpers, hat and scarf off that covered the playsuit, and find a clean, dry, safe place to put them, while I then unzipped and unhooked the playsuit, where I would hope for a lightening speed wee because I was sitting there in only my bra, in a cold public toilet, with my coat, jumpers and winter accessories soaking up someone else’s filth.

You wouldn’t wear a gimp mask out for dinner. Nor would you wear a blindfold when you were driving. So why make a much needed daily activity such a nightmare? Why do this to yourself? Isn’t life hard enough without unnecessary urination distress?

But then, I also bought a pair of shorts recently that have 4 buttons to unfasten/fasten. How bloody ridiculous.

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bright tights and explosions

This dress is so uncomfortable after eating loads of pasta.

I rediscovered these shoes after they were lost for about a year, they have sequins stuck in the inside soles, I don’t know how that happened. Office used to do some really cute geeky shoes about 3 years ago. Last time I remember wearing them was to a London hairdressers appointment where the woman doing my hair said: “I’m going to assume you are geek chic?”.  I was wearing a Kate Moss dress at the time too, so that’s how seriously geeky these shoes are.

Anyway, I really like them and I love this dress that my aunty bought me for Christmas, I tried to wear it New Years Eve but I was too full of carbs to cope.


Dress: H&M

T-shirt: Topshop

Tights: Ebay

Shoes: Office

Necklace: Topshop

Ring: Asos

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So I kind of forgot about this site for a while, partly World of Warcrafts fault. I thought I might update as I have had some successful buys from Topshop recently that have really made me happy, and I would like to share my joy.

I actually had to use Photoshop for the first time in ages, as I was posting this look on http://www.lookbook.nu, after some furious swearing at the screen, and somehow accidentally making it soft focus around the edges (did it when I didn’t want it, didn’t do it when I did, fu), I managed to make this which is a bit more indepth than my previous photos. Aren’t you lucky.

Also, as I now have a lookbook account where I can do what I do here, I might be changing this blog to more of a writing blog. I’m undecided yet, so we’ll see if my brain actually continues to crave intelligent conversation, or not. Until then – LOOKATHAPRETTEHDRESS!


dress: Topshop

cardigan: Topshop

necklace: ASOS

tights: ebay

boots: ebay

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I’m a furry ho yo

I haven’t worn a fur coat for about 10 years. When I was really into Bikini Kill and Babes in Toyland, there are photos of me somewhere in a maroon body-con ribbed dress with black piping, Dr Martins and a white furry jacket, at a Babes in Toyland gig. I was stylin’ it mad yo. Anyway, I went through a period where I felt wearing a furry coat would make me look like a prostitute tramp; somehow ending up with the impression of a failed-at-life teenager smoking rollies in the subway (beenderdondat). I have now got to the age where I don’t actually care if I look like one of those teenagers, (in fact looking like a teenager is a bonus) so I bought myself a new furry coat, and ressurected the grungey prostitute era. It’s about time too.



coat: New Look

t-shirt: American Apparel

jeans: MissGuided.com

shoes: Vans

Necklace: New Look

Sunglasses: Primark

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jumper storm

I was recently shopping in Brighton, which turned me into a stormy monster. I stormed into Topshop and saw something I quite liked, I kind of got the feeling from it that I would wear it forever, every day, and above all that it was really ‘me’. I get this feeling quite often about black clothes, because I wear a lot of black, so that makes sense. But this time I felt I was being quite impulsive, so I took it to the mile long queue and thought by the time I got to being served I’d have decided if this really was me being impulsive (and would later be grateful) or was just driven by the stormy attitude I seemed to be in. It must have been the latter as I suddenly decided downstairs in the mens department there would be a smaller queue, and I was right, infact there was no one there. So I paid, and stormed out the shop without having a chance to think clearly about my purchase. So this is how I acquired this jumper, something that I’d never normally buy, a cowl neck AND short sleeve jumper – wtf is wrong with me.


jumper: Topshop

leggings: New Look

shoes: Primark

ribbon: a material shop

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